The Eyes that Gave Birth...

 I look in the mirror

And though I love who I see

It's my eyes that make me pause

They look so clear

Clearer than ever before

No longer decorated by illusions

Or accentuated by false promises

Or outlined by society's dark expectations 

I have never seen them like this

They appear barren 

Devoid of a lot 

But no longer pregnant with tears and expectations 

It's as if my eyes have finally given birth

After carrying a burden for so long 

They have seen enough 

Sadly, they were never seen enough 

Never looked into

Only shown how invisible I was

I will do for my eyes what I have done in my relationships

Offer them grace 

Hold for them space

To grieve

To rest

But never again to make the mistake

Of unseeing what someone shows you of themselves

Of shrinking myself to fit another's vision

Hiba

Jan 2023

How the Teacup Meets the Wood

 With a tremble, sometimes

With a dash of shakiness
With whiffs of unsteadiness

How the teacup meets the wood
This meeting is so revealing of age, stage and phase of life

In youth, the teacups are drank with more speed
Put down with more fervor
Picked up again and sipped  with more confidence
The arrogance of youth and plenty of time left

In old age, they are sipped with more intention
With more patience,  each sip is experienced more fully
The sugar felt, the temperature judged, the taste deciphered
Maybe because with age, you are never sure if the teacup will meet the wood again ....

Hiba
Dehradun
July 2022
Visits to my mother's friends 

The Leaf Lets Go...

 I observe the leaves in the Fall

How they hold on
Even though they know they must let go
As the warmth subsides and the coldness sets in, they start loosening their grip to what they held onto for so long
Through so many seasons,  through many years, always finding a reason
But even with a weak hold, they linger on
It's eventually a breeze,a wind, a shake that makes the falling away easy
Almost makes it seem inevitable
So gracefully they fall to the ground
Twirling, gliding gracefully even in the fall
Trying not to make too much sound
Just quietly, tiredly and finally letting it all hit the ground......

HT

Seed and Womb

 I hesitate a bit

I feel uncertain
I dread changes in routine
I feel too too tired to act

But then I think of the unborn baby
To be born, they had to leave the familiarity of the womb for the unknown of the world
Birth only happens when the painful journey from known to unknown happens.

I think of the seed
If it didn't dare to break through out of the ground, leave the familiarity of the ground,  it would never have known the heights it could rise, the fruits it could bear, how much it could give.

But how did they know it was time?
Maybe when the womb and seed could no longer remain confined in their smallness, there was no way except to embark on the journey from known to unknown.

HT

The Fall of Youth

In the arrogance of youth, the green leaf looked at the aging brown leaves with contempt
Basking in the sun, it pitifully looked as another colored leaf fell away

But ,it was Fall
And the falling leaves gracefully whispered,  "we will all meet on the ground"....

What a pompous mistake; to mistake our youth as a permanent season....

Hiba

Building or Breaking...

 I find myself doing what I'm doing a lot of in this season....thinking 

We think so much before breaking something. Despite, having more facts in our favor. Despite knowing why we are breaking something . We only consider breaking something when it's creation has subtracted more than it has added. When it's existence  does not allow co existence of our peace, happiness and dignity . There are less unknowns in breaking because you know exactly what it is that you are breaking 

Yet,  we are encouraged to happily build. We build homes and lives with people on hope and promises. With no assurance of what the result will be, yet we jump to building. We invest so much of ourselves,  we pour so much from ourselves to build. With far less certainty of what will be built,  with many more variables,  we don't think as much or as hard about the risky endeavor of building. 

Why then do we fear breaking those same things? We break with knowledge that we didn't have at the time of building which makes it a safer decision.

Yet, breaking seems more serious than building.  The future is unknown in both but breaking happens after you know...

To break or continue with what was built?

HT

Sacred Places

We celebrate the butterfly and the metamorphosis of the caterpillar
But, what about the cocoon?
The place that held space

We celebrate the revelations of God and the Prophet
But, what about the cave?
The place that offered solitude

We celebrate the baby and parenthood
But what about the womb?
The place that selflessly offered nourishment

Places matter
They hold space
They offer grace

Be the place,  be the space, be the grace because places matter..

Hiba