The Noor in All of Us....

 Today is Noor's birthday. She would have turned 28 today. But, she didn't. Rather, she couldn't. 

As someone that knew Noor, she really did embody her name.  She really was Light.  She spread Light.  She saw Light in everyone around her. She believed in the Light within every human being. And, that was her beauty and her greatest vice.

She saw Light where there was only darkness.  She failed to see the darkness in her killer because she was mistaking her own Light's reflection as being his. His darkness killed Noor, her Noor, our Noor.

As we all grieve her barbaric death,  we must not let her death go in vain.  We must painstakingly uncover the many layers of our society that Zahir made Zahir. Ironically,  both Noor and Zahir are one of Allah's 99 names.  Noor means Light and Zahir means exposed.  Noor's death exposed many uncomfortable realities of our society.

We want girls to be embodiments of everything feminine such as be nurturing, giving, kind,  loving, forgiving,  trusting. Noor was all that in abundance.  Our society raises women to be tolerant of masculine rage,   oblivious to emotional abuse, patient  and optimistic with narcissists. An ideal woman is one who can be the best rehabilitation center to a badly raised man. But, when things go wrong; we change the rules and ask, " why didn't she see the red flags", " why did she even give him a chance ", " How could she be so naive?".

But, the women that are guarded,  untrusting, and that don't put up with nonsense; we say they are too modern, too feminist, too independent. 

Unfortunately,  we expect women to have the exact proportions of everything  like Goldilock's perfect bowl of porridge. We want them to be perfectly warm,  very sweet,  have lots of patience,  just a dash of modernity,  not too much intelligence,  abundantly beautiful, independent enough but not really,  negligible courage garnished with heaps and heaps of positivity and resilience.

Noor's Empathy killed her. Her kindness,her goodness were not in the right proportions.  She was too trusting,  too kind, too naive. Eventually,  it was toxic masculinity  that killed Noor. It was the comfort and entitlement of patriarchy, power and wealth that ended her life.

There is a Noor in every woman. The Noor that believes and sees the best in everyone.
We must keep that Noor alive.

There is a Zahir in every man. The Zahir that believes his rage and masculinity are intertwined, that if his ego is damaged,  he can go to any extent for revenge.  We must kill that Zahir.

Happy Birthday Noor!

We will keep your Noor alive by fighting and exposing the forces of darkness that took you away. We will keep our Noor alive by not stopping till you get the justice you deserve .

By: Hiba Tanvir