I left when my yearning for home grew larger than my desire to be where I was
I just wanted to go home, to be home, to feel at home
Not an external home, I wanted to be home with myself again
I had missed myself more and more with each passing year of this union
I felt more and more distant from myself with each conversation, each infraction, each violation
As I battled the waters of this marriage, trying to keep this marriage afloat; somewhere in the distance , I was becoming someone I had always yearned to love and be loved by
I was this abundant ,exuberant spring of light, optimism, compassion, strength and hope.
And so ,I abandoned the ship that was destined to sink.
I freed myself from this weight that I was carrying alone
And I decided to go home
Home to where I'd find a stronger, happier version of me
I missed myself and just wanted to be with myself again
With a cup of tea, wrapped in a shawl, hugged by strength, caressed by zest
I just wanted to be home, home with myself.
Never again to make the mistake of building and seeking my home in another...
HT
April 2023
