At Home

 

I left when my yearning for home grew larger than my desire to be where I was

I just wanted to go home, to be home, to feel at home

Not an external home, I wanted to be home with myself again

I had missed myself more and more with each passing year of this union

I felt more and more distant from myself with each conversation, each infraction, each violation 

As I battled the waters of this marriage, trying to keep this marriage afloat; somewhere in the distance , I was becoming someone I had always yearned to love and be loved by

I was this abundant ,exuberant spring of light, optimism, compassion, strength and hope.

And so ,I abandoned the ship that was destined to sink. 

I freed myself from this weight that I was carrying alone

And I decided to go home 

Home to where I'd find a stronger, happier version of me

I missed myself and just wanted to be with myself again 

With a cup of tea, wrapped in a shawl, hugged by strength, caressed by zest

I just wanted to be home, home with myself. 

Never again to make the mistake of building and seeking my home in another...

HT

April 2023